I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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