its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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