he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
