I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
