i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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