Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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