so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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