I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
