I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Vodka?
Forever.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize