You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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