he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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