Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
