I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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