His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
