i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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