ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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