If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I want her autograph on my taint
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
