He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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