just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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