just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
