But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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