I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
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I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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