Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
