She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
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I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
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you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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