nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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