so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
