ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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