This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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