I just made out with a guy for $7.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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