were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
