I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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