Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
