so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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