You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
