Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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