and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
