ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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