hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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