I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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