I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
