WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
we have officially lost it.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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