A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
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Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
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Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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