i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
