i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Every concussion has its silver lining
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
