I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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