HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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