sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
organizing the empties. That sober.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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