That's when you crack a 10am beer
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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