And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My feet surprised me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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