I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
