TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
