He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The air taste purple.
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