another moral hangover. fuck.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
