I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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