puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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