I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Im part way to drunk.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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