Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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