The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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