Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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