Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
