You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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