How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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