i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
