i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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