Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
