so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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