apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
