Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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