Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
